nikavia

I am capable of using pronouns again. I try to forget but then i get so mad i can't help but growl and snarl and want to hurt someone and quite possibly myself. Not seriously but enough to distract me from the way i am feeling. And it hurts because i can't tell anyone and i can't just scream it out and i can't confront people and so i am trapped in this awkward limbo where i want to beat the shit out of something but i cant explain why. It hurts and i just want it to stop but i don't think it ever will. It's eating me up and my boys, the saints that they are, have been really nice and gentle to me, which makes me feel sort of better but no where near enough to overcome this feeling of total and absolute loathing i have curling in the pit of my stomach. And it makes me sick. But now there is alot of self loathing involved which may be why i kind of want to hurt myself as well. But i want to hurt myself beating the shit out of a wall or something. I want to hurt something almost as much as i feel hurt and it is tearing me up inside that all i can do is just... sit there and scream inside and not try to yell that i just want to get out of there.

MONDAY 2/2	TUESDAY 2/3	WEDNESDAY 2/4	THURSDAY 2/5	FRIDAY 2/6
~~ME360 Hwk Due~~	~~Materials Hwk Due~~		~~Vibes hwk Due~~
~~ME 314 Hwk Due~~	~~ProE Due~~		Music Quiz
	~~Materials Quiz~~
Monday 2/9	Tuesday 2/10	Wednesday 2/11	Thursday 2/12	Friday 2/13
ME 360 Prog Due	Materials Hwk Due			ME 314 Due

Laters
Nyssa

Currently Reading: STORM: Infinity Code
Books: 7== 7%
Words: 4023/10000=40.23%

Current Mood: upset
Current Location: dorm
Current Music: none

Still angry. Took high road and walked away today instead of getting into fist fight. Was comforted by male friends who are most reasonable and rational people ever. And they are quite understanding. Have resisted urge to stab anyone and have spent most of today walking around pissed off. have decided it is for the best as faking cheeriness leads people to believe that treating people like shit is socially acceptable. It isn't.
Did homework. distracted self with harry potter. want to go home and scream but am unable to for several more days. Hate women. Hate girls.

MONDAY 2/2	TUESDAY 2/3	WEDNESDAY 2/4	THURSDAY 2/5	FRIDAY 2/6
~~ME360 Hwk Due~~	~~Materials Hwk Due~~		~~Vibes hwk Due~~
~~ME 314 Hwk Due~~	~~ProE Due~~
	Materials Quiz

Laters
Nyssa

Currently Reading: STORM: Infinity Code
Books: 7== 7%
Words: 2414/10000=24.14%

Current Mood: furious
Current Location: dorm
Current Music: nothing

Spent today doing homework. Hate Vibes. Hate ME314. Hate people! Have returned to lack of personal pronouns because feelings so mad and betrayed and hurt that it feels better this way. So mad can hardly think straight. Have pie though thanks to Jason. Love Jason. Only person i like in whole big ugly world right now. And Tidah. And dogs. Like Dogs too. Think will possibly spend next week snarling at everyone. And avoiding at all costs. Feel like throwing up/punching someone. May end up doing both.

MONDAY 2/2	TUESDAY 2/3	WEDNESDAY 2/4	THURSDAY 2/5	FRIDAY 2/6
~~ME360 Hwk Due~~	Materials Hwk Due		~~Vibes hwk Due~~
~~ME 314 Hwk Due~~	ProE Due
	Materials Quiz

Laters
Nyssa

Currently Reading: STORM: Infinity Code
Books: 7== 7%
Words: 0/10000=0%

Current Mood: Furious
Current Location: dorm bed...
Current Music: Whatever Jason tells me to click on.

Okay that sucked but i think i did well on my exam. I just wish i had a minute to relax. But nopes, it's all go go go. Freaking exam. But it's over and i only have two left to do, unless there is a pop quiz... which there probably will be. hopefully in fluids because i am better at fluids.
But i spent alot of time in Zimm's basement today. The computers down there are super fast. And the screens are awesome. But i digress. I managed to finish my lab, though i kept having to check my freakin' numbers. But now that is done. And i have done like 1000 quizzes for Econ. And looked over my notes for the Fluids Quiz. We shall see how that goes. But one thing that sucks is that i got hwk in both Linear and Mechanics due on the 21st. Which sucks. but there are like 3 problems apeice so that isn't too bad.
Went to saggio's for lunch today with Fernando. YAY ORANGE CREAM SMOOTHIE! we also watched Soccer (sweet goals were made) and the Scrabble championships. I know words. i just can't spell.
OH I FORGOT! Yesterday i completed an entire crossword puzzle! AN ENTIRE CROSSWORD PUZZLE!
That is all. need to get some sleep.

Monday (10/13)	Tuesday (10/14)	Wednesday (10/15)	Thursday (10/16)	Friday (10/17)
~~Thermo WP Due~~	~~CE Exam~~	Econ Exam
~~Thermo PS Due~~	~~Linear Hwk Due~~	~~Fluid's Lab Due~~
~~Fluids WP Due~~		Fluid's Lab Quiz	No School	No School
		~~Fluids WP Due~~
		~~Thermo WP Due~~
Monday (10/20)	Tuesday (10/21)	Wednesday (10/22)	Thursday (10/23)	Friday (10/24)
(Unknown)	Linear Hwk Due	(Unknown)	(Unknown)	(Unknown)
	Mechanics Hwk Due		Dusty's Birthday

Other Things to do:
Finish Prompts
New Background (?)
IRONMAN Graphics
Pst C-01
Update User_i
Backup and Clear 2gigs
Dusty's Birthday

Laters
Nyssa
Reading: None right now... call back later
Reading Manga: Ranma 1/2 (Book 29 out of 38), Inuyasha (ch209 out of 558), Battle Royale (ch01 out of 119)
Book Count: 22

Current Mood: one more day!
Current Location: dorm bed
Current Music: Snow Patrol

So… in a slight continuance from yesterday… I am going to be with my SG until I die!... no not really though we did discover that we were all in the same CS class last semester. But hey, they are entertaining so I think I can deal with that. I finished my piece and it is beautiful. All worries from Sunday are gone and have been replaced by a happy glow-y feeling. But I am tired after a long up hill battle with physics.

Laters
Nyssa
Manga Count: 524
Comic Book Count: 12
Word Count:
Word Count:

0 / 10,000
(0.0%)

Book Count: 48

Library Collection: ~~Heir Apparent~~, Vampirates: Demons of the Ocean, Hawksong, Snakecharm, Wolfcry, Falcondance, Stormbreaker, ~~Wicked: the Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West~~, ~~The Death Collector~~, ~~A Killing in the Comics~~, The Black Tattoo, ~~Rant: An Oral Biography of Buster Casey~~, Corbenic, ~~Grass for His Pillow Episode One~~, ~~Grass for His Pillow Episode Two~~, ~~The Rumpelstiltskin Problem~~, ~~Surrender~~, ~~Someone Comes to Town, Someone Leaves Town~~, ~~Witch Dreams~~, ~~The Intruders~~, Evil Genius, ~~At the Firefly Gate~~, ~~More Horowtiz Horror~~, Vampirates: Tides of Terror, ~~Exposure~~, ~~The Witch's Boy~~, The Looking Glass Wars, ~~Burning Bridges~~, ~~Now You See It~~, ~~Never Trust a Dead Man~~, ~~Operation Red Jericho~~, In Darkness, Death, A Samurai Never Fears Death, Kamui Volume 3, Kamui Volume 4, ~~Staying Dead~~, ~~On Fire's Wings~~, The Book of Mordred

Current Mood: accomplished
Current Location: dorm bed
Current Music: Cold

In my great adventure across campus, I picked up a stress ball (which I gave away) three pens and … 6 condoms. Not because I am planning on having rampant sex or anything but rather because I simply couldn’t dodge the booths that offered them and I couldn’t say no to them when they did… So I have decided to make it a personal goal to collect as many as possible… their wrappers, colors and flavors are fascinating… they have vanilla flavored condoms… vanilla… just think about it… Did you know they also have a remarkably long shelf life? The soonest one to expire is December 2009. The last one to expire expires in January 2011. So if anyone gets condoms thrown at them and they don’t want them… feel free to give them to me to add to my already very oddly colored and flavored collection (two lifestyles{one yellow, one red}, one political one {purple}, one One Condom, One blue Vanilla Fantasy Condom, and one Rough Rider)… they have the strangest and… most… ugh names ever… Condoms are really kinda gross… so slimy…

In other news (and I guess you could say in a Freudian connection even though I really just aligned them later because the condoms were the first thing I saw when I wrote out what happened today) I have a study group maybe. I have a billion classes with this group of males. So according to them we are a study group. Oh joys. I guess it is probably MW… but I really don’t know. This was decided while we waited for our CE teacher, who is still non present. Today was the first time when I actually left because a teacher didn’t show up for 15 minutes. Very exciting.

Met people, watched a movie that has me positive that we should educate and empower every female in the world before we die from over population, played a tiny bit of FFIII and watched much CSI… now I am… reading and being bored actually…
Laters
Nyssa
Manga Count: 509
Comic Book Count: 12
Word Count:

1,346 / 10,000
(13.5%)

Book Count: 19
Mood Theme: 0/132
Library Collection: ~~Heir Apparent~~, Vampirates: Demons of the Ocean, Hawksong, Snakecharm, Wolfcry, Falcondance, Stormbreaker, Wicked: the Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West, ~~The Death Collector~~, A Killing in the Comics, The Black Tattoo

Current Mood: bored
Current Location: dorm bed
Current Music: CSI

Entries tagged with study group

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