nikavia: (Default)
The big 400.

Might as well make it worth while.

I’ve decided the best way to do so was to wait until the end of Spring 2008 term. So here I am. I haven’t updated in over a month and I have taken more tests then I care to remember.

So now it is time for some self reflection…

Have I changed over the past year?

This time last year I was upset because my best friend was moving back to Alaska. I was taking a summer school calculus course. I was learning how to live without my bestfriend right there all over again. I spent that summer learning calc twice a week (acing the course) and reading. Yuka came in August before school started.

And then school started up and I was forced to change. Jason hugged me first day of  school and I realized that we were hugging friends and the rest is filled with more boys and humiliating moments then I can recall.

So I have changed. Because at the beginning of my sophomore year, I was timid and shy and could hardly meet Jason’s eyes. Now I do… Now I can meet people and look them in the eye and… feel like I fucking earned the right to be there. My good old study group called me brilliant. Fernando called my many times the smartest person he ever met. Doubtful, but it felt good to hear a guy in a male dominated field say that about a scrawny girl who when they first met could hardly be in the same room as him without feeling totally awkward. I have new found confidence and a new understanding of why exactly men find women so irritating. I feel like I belong, rather than the awkward residual feeling of being offset, out of place. Nothing feels better than feeling like being one of the boys in the boys game. And no matter what anyone tells you, it is still a boys game. Girls can do it, most don’t because they either a) suck at math b)suck at homework or c) don’t want to play with the boys. Lucky for me, don’t suck at math, don’t suck at homework and I don’t mind dealing with men who would rather get good grades. Anyway… I like this newer more confident capable of talking to guys she hasn’t spent months warming up to me. I smile a lot more now and I don’t feel lonely. I get my homework done and I have a good time doing it. I am enjoying college and don’t have the uneasy doubts that I had in the beginning… I have a 3.6 GPA, have been on the Dean’s List for the School of Engineering for all four semesters and have managed to maintain my hellish 18 hour days and good humor for the most part.

My hobbies however are on a downward spiral. My compulsions to buy are bad and evil and I am collecting, which is never a good sign. I am collecting many things and obsessed and need to buy CCG things… even if I don’t play. But it gives me something to obsess about in a controlled way. I have found new things to do, I love my DS and I have read more books than I probably should have this past year. And I am planning on reading more. Sounds like a plan all around.

Other than that… not much to tell. I’ve changed… but I don’t mind what I am becoming.

Two more years till full on adulthood and grad school.

Hopefully I’ll feel like I learned a lot when I get my diploma.

And now for my hard earned and hard fought for summer.

nikavia: (Default)
Just took my final… MEEP! Oh god I never want to take a final again. They are so nerve racking. I haven’t smacked myself or felt the sudden urge to commit suicide so I think I did alright. I just kinda want my grade and want this disaster with UNM to be over.
Everyone but me (and Dad but he was slacking) went to the marching band thing. I was so depressed when I found out I couldn’t go because of stupid final. Math is ruining my life!!! Maybe I am just being melodramatic but… I wanted to go!
Ugh sigh of angst and perhaps some depression. I am counting down the days I have left in my room before I am placed on the couch. Not that I am complaining. I can listen to music in the living room at 1 am and no one bugs me.

Manga Count: 499
Comic Book Count: 12
Word Count:
Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
928 / 10,000

Book Count: 15
Mood Theme: 0/132
Boxes sent out of room: none
Zone Badges:
Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
370 / 1,000


May. 11th, 2007 10:29 pm
nikavia: (Default)
I got a B in Chem... that means all thats left is physics and CS... **is nervous** But I am done with my first year of college... And that means i only have alot more to go... great. But i had a fantastic dinner tonigh with everyone and Cait gave best present ever. i now have a picture of us all together, framed and perfect except for Tidah being missing from the nose up. But apparently, that will be fixed. But i'm done. All moved out and free as a bird. I Dance happily... well i would if i wasn't so tired. Anyway i go to read deep books and watch Supernatural. 
nikavia: (Default)

I HATES the CHEM.... But my last final will be over in 12 hours and 45 minutes... then all i have to do is request an unofficial transcript for CNM, pack up the last of my stuff and leave! LEAVE!... well not really because i have to come back at 3:00 and check out... But i hopefully will get to see BABY Cole and little big Erik... Which will be awesome as i have never met Cole... which isn't surprising as he isn't even 6 months old and he lives in Seattle. But i haven't seen little big Erik since i was 12!
Anyways... i should probably head to bed...


May. 9th, 2007 10:10 pm
nikavia: (Default)
... that's all really.


May. 8th, 2007 04:44 pm
nikavia: (Default)
Soooo much physics. Oh lord i just want to die. I can't even look at the problems and i have about 100 more to look at... **dies** and it's only going to get worse... Oh well... i just keep telling myself i just need a C to get a B in the class but good loooord. Need sleep and Anita Blake.


May. 7th, 2007 10:35 pm
nikavia: (Default)
One down, two to go.
that's all
nikavia: (Default)

Is going to be hell... but that is alright.
I have three finals
Calc-Monday 7:30-9:30 am.
Physics-Wednesday 10:00-12:00 
Chemistry- Friday 10:00-12:00
I need good grades on all of them. I hate my life. 
Then i get to start Calc II at CNM.
I have had problems registering for 3 our of 5 classes. 
My extended family is coming in from everywhere this week.
I can't even begin to think about anything complex.

nikavia: (Default)

So because I have been lacking in updating for the fine month of December, I will recap, attempting to be witty, or at least put forth some effort in an advent-y way, at least until Christmas. For those of you unaware, there is this whole Christmas thing which usually involves chocolate, candy, flipping things over etc. to count down the days until Christmas, beginning on December 1st. So I shall attempt to do that, from now, until Christmas, as in “December 1st, 25 days Till Christmas- 1 week of school left”. We shall see how well this works. This means I also have to recap, so here we go. The sill dorky thing is in this font, and the summary of the day is all… normal shaped.


Friday, December 1st, 24 days Till Christmas- One Week of School Left.

This day was a Friday, and according to my planner, nothing exciting happened in school. That evening, Alex, Sarah and Daniel came over and we watched Suicide Kings, drank way too much caffeine (Daniel and I did at least), I chatted with Daniel, probably scarred Alex irreparably and then broke out Adventures in Babysitting. It was a fun night all around, with much giggling and enjoyment of our last free Friday before the doom of finals set in. Next year I have made a not to go to the hanging of the Greens, apparently it was pretty.


Saturday, December 2nd, 23 days until Christmas- Two Math Practice Finals.

Studied way, way, way, too much with Dad, this day only being the entire Trig practice final and about half of the PreCalc practice final. This is all I remember from this day. If I did anything else, it is a mystery to me.


Sunday, December 3rd, 22 days until Christmas- Three hours of FFX-2.

Finished studying with father, with little bloodshed, and rewarded myself with three hours of FFX-2, which was fun and kinda exciting. My second play through and I got up to 98% before the final boss. I can’t think of anything else to do, so I ran around for a bit and just leveled up and learned things for my dresspheres. I really can’t understand how males can play that game and not be slightly creeped out. They change clothes for God’s sake. Oh well it was fun and a good way to detox from all the math. Went back to the school shaped place and watched Mononoke-Hime with Alex and Sarah. Fun and created something for my to-do list. Good news is I have figured out a few Christmas presents.


Monday, December 4th, 21 days until Christmas- Four hours of lecture.

This was my last day where everything was lecture, and I had all my classes. Trig was bright and early and very review shaped, as were all my other classes now that I think about it. This day was also when we began to work hard on our ME project. It was a nightmare, as there are only two comp pods on campus that support ProE, DSH and The ESCape Pod. Guess where every single student went after we were kicked out of DSH by the crazy people testing on Powerpoint… POWERPOINT!!! We actually cheated and went to the computers just outside the DSH classroom, tying three of them up for a few hours.


Tuesday, December 5th, 20 days until Christmas- Five paragraphs about a fake Flashlight.

Yes, a fake flashlight. One of our group members for ME dropped out of college, leaving me to panic type up five paragraphs about our imaginary flashlight that we were designing. There was a lot of ME this day, much of which included being kicked out of DSH and wandering and luckily getting computers in the ESCape pod. I walked from the escape pod to my dorm, at 7 o’clock at night, by myself, in the dark. I realized this might have been a bad plan about ten feet from Alverado. Then I naturally ran into both Paul and Tyler, both of which are ME group members, at Lapo. It’s a small world. This day was bad but not as bad as the next day.


Wednesday, December 6th, 19 days until Christmas- Six awake hours not with Tyler.

This Day was a nightmare. I woke up, went to trig, worked in the ESCape Pod until Chem, went to Chem (3 hours w/out Tyler), Took a test in ME (Tyler count, 1 hour), went to PreCalc… with Tyler (With Tyler-2, without-3.5), went to lunch with Dusty (about 4 hours w/out Tyler), went to ESCape Pod and spent the next 7.5 hours, with Tyler, working on Project (With Tyler- 9.5, without 4), Retrieved by Sarah and Alex who came and saved me from Engineering land, spent the next hour-ish being fed and watching CSI, then crawled into bed. End of the day count. Time with Tyler 9.5, time w/out him, 6. We bonded… And didn’t kill each other, GO US!\


Thursday, December 7th, 18 days until Christmas- Seven Completely Random Hugs.

Project was handed in and we all took the biggest sigh of relief you can possibly imagine. Then came this sense of euphoria that hung around the rest of the day. Did a powerpoint on FFX and managed drain the batteries of the laptop. Sorry once again darling, nothing personal. Random hugging ensued as my personal bubble disappeared because I was far too happy. Tyler and I took a Detox period of 24 hours, naturally running into each other at Lapo, but that is okay as it was through glass, so I don’t count it. That night I took a break and was slightly creative. We’ll see how far this goes. Then, that night I stayed up until midnight so I could register for the next semester. Apparently 5000 freshmen all signing onto lobo web simultaneously killed it and It was very very dead. There were many windows of whining open as we complained about how it wasn’t working. I gave up and went to bed at 1 in the morning.


Friday, December 8th, 17 days until Christmas- Eight problems per test of PreCalc.

Last day of classes, but there were only two, Chem and Trig. Went to Chinese Buffet with Sarah for lunch. Then went back to my room and studied. Then was drug out for food. Sarah and I saw a helicopter take off. It was very exciting. Later a Sarah and an Alex invaded my room (well I invited them in) and we studied and Alex redid my lights around the room. We had CSI in the background. It was quite lovely. Alex and I slipped into Math speak and Sarah rolled her eyes and muttered in German as we discussed Asymptotes and Zeros, in math babble. We found Tyler’s room to give him my notes and then I went to bed.


Saturday, December 9th, 16 Days until Christmas- Nine people I know seen.

So I was jolted out of REM sleep at 7, woke up at 8, and lazed around until 9, when I stumbled out of bed to answer my phone. Dusty came up and we went to Math Finals at about 9:40 ish. It was cloudy and icky outside. Upon entering the classroom I sat down in a random desk and realized that I had managed to sit next to Tyler. I am subconsciously aware of him. This is not a good sign. We took our PreCalc final and we both handed ours in within seconds of each other (meanwhile Nyssa’s internal warning bells are screaming at me). I felt confident in it. We then lurked out in the hall, discussing problems on the Final. We were joined by Dusty. I then saw Kate, who I have not seen in over a year. It was very exciting. Then we talk for a sec to some guy Tyler knows (doesn’t count in tally, tally currently 3). Then Paul came over and the tally is now up to 4. Dusty and I left and it was Bright and Sunny, must be a sign. Then Dusty and I met Sarah and Cait out in the Quad. Then I went home and took a break from math and studied Chem. In total I ran into 9 people I know. It was nice.


Sunday, December 10th, 15 Days until Christmas- Ten Pages of Pretests.

This day was a study day, nothing happened except for a bout of nausea when I got back to the dorms. This was my day and it was very very tiring. I also learned some very upsetting news. Adventures in Babysitting and Square Enix share something in common. Nice college guy voices Sephiroth and Nooj…. I shudder. If you could see me, I would be a shuddering mess.


Monday, December 11th, 14 days until Christmas- Eleven Hours of freedom!

I took my last to finals and was FREE! I finished my Trig Final at 2 and declared my freedom, even though I would not get off campus for another hour and a half. I then spent the next several hours goofing off, helping linds beat FFX2 and watching Grey’s Anatomy and Joan of Arcadia. I crawled into bed at 1 in the morning and passed out.


Tuesday, December 12th, 13 days until Christmas- Twelve episoded of CSI.

I didn’t watch 12 hours of CSI, but I watched several, eventually getting to twelve hours of CSI being fast forwarded thru or watched. I also went to the dentist and watched some Back to the Future. It was very exciting. I watched many hours of CSI though, several of which I have never seen before it was very exciting.


Wednesday, December 13th, 12 days until Christmas- Thirteen days remembered.

So that brings us to today. I went to school to get my test, only managing to grab PreCalc. I got a 95% on the Final and an A in the Class. I danced a victory dance. Dad and I went to the Fountain, and it was very good and pretty. Still a bit fuzzy on some parts but that’s okay. I liked it. Then I went home and baked a cake (twice having messed up the first time) and helped Linds study for French. I remember a lot of French it turns out. I watched some CSI and went to Mr. Tokyo for Dinner with Alex and Sarah. It was fun. I am now home typing this up and plan to go finish CSI.


That’s all I got for today. Let’s see if I can continue this until Christmas huh?



Dec. 11th, 2006 07:56 am
nikavia: (Default)
So i only have 5 hours and 36 minutes left of school. I'm not sure what to do, but i think i will settle for cheering and dancing in very very small circles.
Laters, have to finish studying.


May. 9th, 2006 10:06 pm
nikavia: (Default)
So i've played way way way way way way way too much American McGee's Alice. I feel inspired... but not now... sleepy.
three finals down, and i'm pretty confident in my good passing ness of them. Tomorrow is the last day, but i haven't accepted it yet.


nikavia: (Default)

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